A New Beginning, A New World

I’m sitting on the grass,
Leaning on the church wall,
I’m looking at the sky so blue,
With the wind blowing so slow,
I wonder if things could be better,
For, the beautiful dream, that I lived in, just got shattered.

It’s a new beginning,
I am going to start a new chapter,
The old one was good,
But this will be even better,
For I’m going to fill it with moments of joy,
That I’ll cherish until I die.

I see a bird soaring in the sky,
Makes me wonder how it must feel to fly,
Must feel like total freedom,
True relief from all the life’s boredom,
I asked the bird, what can I do,
To be unbound like you.

The bird told me,
“Freedom is not doing things,
It’s the ability to soar with your mind’s wings,
The mind knows no limit,
It’s time you realized it.”

I told myself,
I will get on my feet,
Unfold the wings of my mind,
This is not my defeat,
I’ll fly again the strongest wind,
Now nothing can stand between me and my freedom,
For I shall fight until I am struck with boredom.

One More For Adri

I am lost looking at you,
especially those beautiful eyes,
and that wonderful smile,
I wounder where you were all this while.

when you are not around, I feel so weak,
you are the perfection that I seek,
you are my heart, you are my soul,
without you I am just an endless hole.

Hold my hand and take me along,
you are the one with whom I belong,
never ever let go of me,
if you do, I'll cease to be.

You are the best thing that ever happened to mankind,
There's nothing better that I can find,
Even heaven may not have anything more to offer,
For Zeus himself has come to earth to be your chauffeur.

Reality Sucks; But Everything Turns Out To Be Awesome

I once saw this movie called "A Beautiful Mind". I am sure many of you guys also have seen it or at least read the book. It made me wonder whats wrong with living in an imaginary world of your own as long a you are not hurting/bothering anyone. I could have my own set of friends, stuff that I always wanted to have, do things that I dreamed of doing but never did etc ...

Unfortunately, things don't work that way for one or the other reason. Either people around you start getting jealous and insecure of the fact that you are having more fun than they are or for many of the physical aspects of life like food, cloths etc you need to be in touch with the real world and can't live without it. So, for practical purposes the imaginary world doesn't work.
We all know that in the real world sometimes we get into situations we don't want to be in and feel really bad about the whole thing. That's the precise reason why we all feel "Reality Sucks" at times.

Thanks to our maker, whoever that is, he/she has given us a few good things. Things like the ability to forget and forgive, ability to analyze what went wrong and realize our mistakes, ability to make some changes and move on. Because there is nothing we can do about what happen except for learn something from it and move on. I know that really sucks, because we may have found something that we thing is really awesome and want to hold on to it no matter what. Like this one thing may bring the best out of us, still we just can't hang on to it, we need to let it go, cause as my friends say "somethings just aren't meant to be". I too can't understand when they say this, I felt many times when I heard that "That's crap. No one decides what's meant be for me, I decide that". But I am starting to realize its not crap, somethings aren't really meant to be and we really need to let them go. It's like when your are on a bike and you fall when you are riding too fast, you need to let the bike go at the earliest to minimize the damage to you. The longer and harder you hold on to the bike, you get hurt more.

I am sure, there is reason for everything. I have seen this before, when I got into my second job, after 3 months into the job I didn't understand why I stayed. I kept saying to myself "I can do this", but all the time I was hurting my self more and more. Once I let it go, I felt so good. At the same time, my joining that job was very much necessary as it taught me a lot about myself and how I work. That knowledge help me do my job faster even today. I am getting the appreciation, whatever little it may be, that doesn't matter, at my current job is all because of that. So now I understand why I had to go through those difficult times and why letting it go was the best thing that happened. And I see that "Everything Really Turned Out To Be Awesome" :). A happy ending after all.

So we need to hug reality and stick on to it, cause we don't have a choice. And hope that everything will be fine and eventually we'll realize that things did turnout to be good actually.

Until my dying day

It's a mid summer day,
The sun's right above my head,
The heat is turning the ground red,
Yet I feel I should jump around and play,
Doesn't matter if its sunny or chill,
My mind is not under my control, its going up hill.

I have been dreaming with eyes wide open,
I am completely lost in her thoughts and have been hopin',
Hoping that she will see me here, waiting and dreaming,
With my heart praying for her well-being,
Because all that matters to me,
Is that she always be happy.

Once she knows of my love,
She will come flying to me like a dove,
Then we shall stay together, eternally inseparable,
And our love shall become universally honourable.

Though all this seems irrefutable,
Actually its highly improbable,
'Coz the girl of my dreams is none other than Adriana Lima,
But there are no limits to my imaginary drama,
So I shall keep dreaming, hoping and writing,
Until the day my heart stops beating.

Life is Beautiful

Just when I thought it was all over,
Just when I had lost all hope,
A star sparkled and said "nope",
It's not over, new things will uncover.

That's when I saw her walk right past me,
Beauty and grace with which she carried herself,
Said to me "don't touch, you are only allowed to see",
Her beauty was my trust in love back to life.

What was I thinking,
Nothing is over, it's a new beginning.
It depends on how we see,
Either the glass is half full or half empty.

Enjoy the taste real slow,
And everything around you will start to glow.
The light will cut through the darkness like a knife,
And then you shall see the real beauty in Life.

Hole In The Wall

We all know that, sometimes you don't know what something or someone means to you until that person or that thing is gone. We also know that, the smaller joys gives more to live than the big things. For example, small things like spending a few evenings with friends or with your family means more than something big like a promotion or getting married. Also, sometimes in a group of friends there a few people who add so much to the group that they are like the life of the group, without them the group seems to have lost a leg and can't balance well on its own. Now put all these together, what do you have: A person who adds to the smaller joys of a group of friends, a friend without whom the group clearly see that its loosing balance and is getting ready to topple any moment and also not all in the group understood this until that person was gone.

Something similar happened to my group of friends. I know that our group was going to fall apart eventually, but was expecting someone else to leave after marriage. We have already lost a close friend. Who moved on to pursue a better career. We supported that decision as it was a good one, but not what happened yesterday. It was unfair and our group is hit big time. I am not sure how we'll do without this one person. If it was planned and well know before hand that would have been a different story, but a sudden shock for the whole group. We are all broken apart a little. I just hope we can remain as a group and that even though this one person was forced to leave, we will remain as a group. We'll definitely miss this person at office, but we would love to meet up as a group and hang out, with her, sometime.

Life isn't Just

I still remember the first day at my first job. It wasn't the greatest memory that I treasure, if thats what you thought I was going to say. It was like any other winter day in Bangalore, a little sunny, little chill. I hardly new anyone, and so I wasn't having much fun. It was something new, I was excited about it, though. I got the job within 2 weeks since my BE final semester results were out and also the package was good and it was development work, when many of my classmates had gotten into testing. So I was a little proud about it. But the only memory that flashes to me, is the moment that I stepped at the reception. There was a security guard who asked me who I was, when I said I was joining that company, he immediately said "Good Morning Sir!". I was kind of shocked and didn't know how to react. It was the first time I was ever called "SIR", at least I can't recall or couldn't recall anyone call me "SIR" before that. Then every morning I walked into the office the guard at the reception used to greet me with "Good Morning Sir" and I used to say "Good Morning" in return. It was part of his job, he would do the same thing to every one in the company.

That weekend when I went home I gave it a thought, I was at least 10 yrs younger than that guard and still he called me SIR. That was kind off weird to me. Also, my first salary was higher than the salary that my father was getting at that time. That got me wondering what is the big difference between me and my dad or me and that guard. The only difference is that I have done my BE in CS&E that my dad or that guard haven't. What does BE have so much in it that I deserve that kind of treatment? BE is a 4 yrs course, with 8 semesters with about 7 or 8 papers at the end of each semester. Is it so hard that not all people can make it? Definitely not, anyone who has done his/her BE know that people don't work hard unless the exams are near. So if you count the number of days we spend working hard for exams, it would start about a week before the exams and last for about a month. But we don't work hard everyday during this period too, we use to have lot of fun doing combine study with friends. Combine study was just a name we gave it, but it used to be combine fun + study: watching movies, go out for walks, tell crazy stories, pull each others legs etc etc and in between study for a while. So in effect the over all effort would that of a week or two :). Lets say it was 2 weeks of effort. Now taking that there were 8 semesters the total effort is 2 * 8 = 16 weeks ~ 4 months. So, as whole we put an effort of 4 months or in case some really hard working kids [which I was not, I was/am never hard working, I always work smart ;)] 6 months of effort. So all in all, we have put, may be, at most 6 months of more effort in our early lives doing our Engineering as a pose to my dad or the guard and that gives us more salary and more luxurious life. My dad is a double graduate, i.e. he has 2 degrees: B.Sc, B.Ed. That means he had did 2 courses that are 3 yrs in length each, which is definitely more time than a single 4 yrs course, except may be the subjects are a little boring in B.Sc or B.Ed. So, that way its more difficult that BE. So he has put more effort than me in his early life, still used to work harder than me for a salary less than my first salary even at the age of 54 or so.

There thousands of people out there who work so hard to earn bread for the day and I am living such a luxurious live with such high salary for doing nothing but sit in a A/C room in front of a comp, half the time browsing or chatting or doing some crap. What better example can I give to say that "Life isn't just".