Realization & Incompleteness

My Interpretation

From (lighter exterior, darker interior, bigger in size, darker environment) to (darker exterior, brighter interior, not big in size, brighter environment)

The Window - Brighter Outside

My Interpretation

 Dark inside and brighter and beautiful outside.

Unbalanced Clock

 My Interpretation

Time is one of those crucial concepts that we relay on and expect it to be absolute, by unbalancing it I am trying to depict the unbalancedness of everything around us.

Copenhagen Climate Change Summit

All of us read the 100s of articles, have watch programs after programs on global warming and knew what climate change meant to our environment and to the future of our planet. We wanted to unit to agree upon some action items to control the warming at Copenhagen. Now, after the summit, we have all read the news. What have we learned from this? That after almost 7000 years of civilized living (the first civilizations started emerging between 4000 and 3000 BC), we have failed to unit and agree upon something so critical that it could lead us right to our own end. After this long a time as a civilization all we have is fear in our heart for one-another. We speak of unity, peace, freedom, love, truth etc as if we understand all of those and have a great idea as to how important they are to all of us and that we strive to be a race with all of that. But, for once when we get a chance to show that we, the most intelligent species on the face of the planet, can act as one, can unit and come to a consensus, we fail! We just can’t seem to trust one another. We have grown into a hate filled and non-trusting civilization.

We can agree and unit as smaller groups but when we all need to unit, we are not sure.  I think, we have been living in an environment that so strongly believes in diving us and making us feel different from the rest of us, that we are hesitate to unit. We unit to fight as smaller like minded groups, sometimes with no regard to borders or barriers created by countries, religions, communities etc. But when it comes to uniting as a race, the entire human race, we still need time, we are too deep into that state of mind that, tells us “I first need to see how everything that I agree to do, affects me and everything that I hold dear before I can see how it affect my environment as a whole”. It’s a paradigm shift for our thought process. I do believe we’ll get to the state of mind where we unit and work together for greater good, I just hope it’s not too late by the time we get there.

Thermoelectric Effect

Trying to play around with fire and stuff, I thought I should make a video and upload it for my friends to see and have some fun ;). Its suppose to be a fun video, but please bear with me, it will take me a little time to get better at it :).

Thermoelectric Effect @ Yahoo! Video

Watchmen: Meaning of Life?

This is a dialog from Watchmen between Lori and John or Dr Manhattan. To understand this dialog you need some back ground.

Dr. Manhattan is required on earth, he is needed to stop the nuclear war that is about to start, while he is on a exile on Mars. Just before the first event that is about to trigger the war he comes back to earth and takes Lori, his love, to Mars to have him convince to save earth. In his dialog with Lori he says that life has no meaning, so whats the point in saving it? He asks her, how does life change anything in this universe, how does it make things better for earth? And then how shows her, her past events that lead her to realize her real father was the man who initially tried to rape her mother. The man she thought was sick and that her mother hated was her real father. Which is when she breaks down and is weeping like a little kid. That's when he says this:

Dr. Manhattan: will you smile, if i admit i was wrong.
Lori: about what?
Dr. Manhattan: miracles! that's what's astronomical odds of occurring link. oxygen turning into gold. I've longed to witness such an event and yet I neglect that in human coupling. millions up on millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until, finally, you mother loves a man; Edward Blake, the comedian! a man, she has every reason to hate and out of that contradiction against unfathomable odds, its you, only you; that emerged to this still so specific form, from all that chaos. it's like turning air into gold. a miracle! and so i was wrong! now wipe you tears, let's go home!

What's so great about this dialog? One, it's the most romatic of dialogs I have ever heard. I think it's the best thing a man can ever say to a women, well actually, it's the nicest thing any person can say to another person. Two, just see what Dr. Manhattan is saying. He is saying that at an objective level all of life has no meaning. But, with love for Lori in his heart, he can see the significance of life. So, he accepts to save the world. What's strikes me the most in this dialog is the subtle message that he is trying to convey, "life has no meaning when looked at with objectivity, but it means a lot more than one can comprehend when you look at it with subjective eyes".

Just Words?

I close my eyes and all I see is you,
I stretch my hands out and your touch feels like dew.
Those beautiful lips and that flawless smile,
I want to kiss you and hold you like you were a child.

Your soft black hair and your skin so fair,
Your face shines like the moon, a nightly glare.
Those deep dark eyes, so juvenile,
How I want to dive into them and be lost for a while.

I want to be with you, it'd feels so great,
You'd fill me with joy, every moment would be a treat.
You'd be the beauty that shall rule my heart,
I truly feel this way and from these feeling I shall never part.

These are not just words on a paper,
They are the tears of a lonely heart longing for a pamper.
To see you happy is all I desire,
To fulfill this, with God and the Devil, I shall conspire.

In body and in soul, I am defeat,
With this I lay my heart at your feet.
You may choose to save it or for death it shall plea,
Either way you'll always be special to me,
For your memories will never fade till the day I cease to be.

The Little Monster

I wish I could apologize,
I wish you would realize,
For you, how much I care,
And that you are my only desire.

I know I made a mistake,
I wish I could tell you I don't fake,
If only you knew the truth,
If only I could make myself worth.

I didn't want to, I had no choice,
But to protect you from my inner voice,
Inside me is a notorious monster,
Who feeds on your polite and good gesture.

He is destructive in nature,
He ruins all that I hold dear,
He manipulates and never let’s me be on my own,
Since I’ve known you I’ve been fighting him alone.

Deep inside, he is just a little kid,
I made a mistake I opened the lid,
It was too much freedom for him to handle,
I'm now trying to put him back under the buckle.

I had almost lost this battle,
I needed to turn his efforts futile,
Poisoning your mind was the only way,
To stop his nourishment, to let him fade away.

I hurt you in this process,
But my inner self was posses’,
I wish I had it in me to fight him,
I wish I stood on stronger limbs.

You hate me now and that I can never change,
I'm glade I knew you for whatever little time range,
And I thank you for being so polite all this while,
In my heart I shall always cherish your beautiful smile.

A Poem

Sitting here at my desk,
I decided to write a poem,
What should it be about,
Waiting for an idea to sprout.

Couldn't think of anything,
Started writing about poems,
Wanted to write something sensible,
This isn't bad, its definitely comprehensible.

I could have written better,
But writing poems isn't easy,
It's not just about rhyming,
It must be sensationally pleasing.

Rhyming it makes it readable,
The subject makes it purposeful,
Right combination makes it yum-yum,
That's something one would call "A Poem".

[I know this sucks, but as you can see I am trying really hard ;)]

Jingle all the way, It's Adri's B'day

Jingle bells, jingle bells,

Jingle all the way,

Today’s Adriana’s Birthday; I feel so, Happy and Gay.

Adri is so cute,

Her beauty turns me into a mute.

One look at her picture makes that moment absolute.

Jingle bells, jingle bells,

Jingle all the way,

Today’s Adriana’s Birthday; I feel so, Happy and Gay.

She’s a geminite,

Every aspect of her is a delight,

She's a goddess who came down the heavens, a ray of light.

Jingle bells, jingle bells,

Jingle all the way,

Today’s Adriana’s Birthday; I feel so, Happy and Gay.

Today’s her birthday,

It is 12 days past the month of May,

If she and I turned into kids, we would run around and play.

Jingle bells, jingle bells,

Jingle all the way,

Today’s Adriana’s Birthday; I feel so, Happy and Gay.

I wish I could be there,

To share the warmth of her b’day, I swear,

I would do anything to see her smile with absolutely no despair.

Jingle bells, jingle bells,

Jingle all the way,

Today’s Adriana’s Birthday; I shall always be Happy and Gay.

Heading to Paradise

Last night I had a dream,
I was a little boy, enjoying a choco ice cream,
Then you came along and sprinkled a little something,
I couldn't get you out of my head, I couldn't stop thinking.

With that great smile of yours, you filled my heart,
I turned to bits and I completely fell apart,
I had no control over anything, there on,
I turned into a puppet and danced to your tune.

Every piece that fell apart aligned towards you,
Like pieces of iron in an magnetic field produced by you,
You curved the space-time so much,
I just couldn't escape from your golden latch.

Then, it became a little hazy,
The whole thing was turning me crazy,
It was all beautiful and coloury,
That was when I realized I loved you, Adri.

Now, stop fooling around and come to me,
Because, in my heart is where you are meant to be,
Hold my hand and take me along,
Let's head to paradise, where we originally belong.

A New Beginning, A New World

I’m sitting on the grass,
Leaning on the church wall,
I’m looking at the sky so blue,
With the wind blowing so slow,
I wonder if things could be better,
For, the beautiful dream, that I lived in, just got shattered.

It’s a new beginning,
I am going to start a new chapter,
The old one was good,
But this will be even better,
For I’m going to fill it with moments of joy,
That I’ll cherish until I die.

I see a bird soaring in the sky,
Makes me wonder how it must feel to fly,
Must feel like total freedom,
True relief from all the life’s boredom,
I asked the bird, what can I do,
To be unbound like you.

The bird told me,
“Freedom is not doing things,
It’s the ability to soar with your mind’s wings,
The mind knows no limit,
It’s time you realized it.”

I told myself,
I will get on my feet,
Unfold the wings of my mind,
This is not my defeat,
I’ll fly again the strongest wind,
Now nothing can stand between me and my freedom,
For I shall fight until I am struck with boredom.

One More For Adri

I am lost looking at you,
especially those beautiful eyes,
and that wonderful smile,
I wounder where you were all this while.

when you are not around, I feel so weak,
you are the perfection that I seek,
you are my heart, you are my soul,
without you I am just an endless hole.

Hold my hand and take me along,
you are the one with whom I belong,
never ever let go of me,
if you do, I'll cease to be.

You are the best thing that ever happened to mankind,
There's nothing better that I can find,
Even heaven may not have anything more to offer,
For Zeus himself has come to earth to be your chauffeur.

Reality Sucks; But Everything Turns Out To Be Awesome

I once saw this movie called "A Beautiful Mind". I am sure many of you guys also have seen it or at least read the book. It made me wonder whats wrong with living in an imaginary world of your own as long a you are not hurting/bothering anyone. I could have my own set of friends, stuff that I always wanted to have, do things that I dreamed of doing but never did etc ...

Unfortunately, things don't work that way for one or the other reason. Either people around you start getting jealous and insecure of the fact that you are having more fun than they are or for many of the physical aspects of life like food, cloths etc you need to be in touch with the real world and can't live without it. So, for practical purposes the imaginary world doesn't work.
We all know that in the real world sometimes we get into situations we don't want to be in and feel really bad about the whole thing. That's the precise reason why we all feel "Reality Sucks" at times.

Thanks to our maker, whoever that is, he/she has given us a few good things. Things like the ability to forget and forgive, ability to analyze what went wrong and realize our mistakes, ability to make some changes and move on. Because there is nothing we can do about what happen except for learn something from it and move on. I know that really sucks, because we may have found something that we thing is really awesome and want to hold on to it no matter what. Like this one thing may bring the best out of us, still we just can't hang on to it, we need to let it go, cause as my friends say "somethings just aren't meant to be". I too can't understand when they say this, I felt many times when I heard that "That's crap. No one decides what's meant be for me, I decide that". But I am starting to realize its not crap, somethings aren't really meant to be and we really need to let them go. It's like when your are on a bike and you fall when you are riding too fast, you need to let the bike go at the earliest to minimize the damage to you. The longer and harder you hold on to the bike, you get hurt more.

I am sure, there is reason for everything. I have seen this before, when I got into my second job, after 3 months into the job I didn't understand why I stayed. I kept saying to myself "I can do this", but all the time I was hurting my self more and more. Once I let it go, I felt so good. At the same time, my joining that job was very much necessary as it taught me a lot about myself and how I work. That knowledge help me do my job faster even today. I am getting the appreciation, whatever little it may be, that doesn't matter, at my current job is all because of that. So now I understand why I had to go through those difficult times and why letting it go was the best thing that happened. And I see that "Everything Really Turned Out To Be Awesome" :). A happy ending after all.

So we need to hug reality and stick on to it, cause we don't have a choice. And hope that everything will be fine and eventually we'll realize that things did turnout to be good actually.

Until my dying day

It's a mid summer day,
The sun's right above my head,
The heat is turning the ground red,
Yet I feel I should jump around and play,
Doesn't matter if its sunny or chill,
My mind is not under my control, its going up hill.

I have been dreaming with eyes wide open,
I am completely lost in her thoughts and have been hopin',
Hoping that she will see me here, waiting and dreaming,
With my heart praying for her well-being,
Because all that matters to me,
Is that she always be happy.

Once she knows of my love,
She will come flying to me like a dove,
Then we shall stay together, eternally inseparable,
And our love shall become universally honourable.

Though all this seems irrefutable,
Actually its highly improbable,
'Coz the girl of my dreams is none other than Adriana Lima,
But there are no limits to my imaginary drama,
So I shall keep dreaming, hoping and writing,
Until the day my heart stops beating.