Wish for a rocky heart

I wish this wasn't so difficult,
I thought it could be easily dealt,
Never thought I would get so involved,
Never knew my mind was so evolved.

The wonderful times I had with you, I was so impressed,
You motivated me and brought the best out in me,
That's what makes this so difficult, I am completely depressed,
Now you are saying forget all that and as friends let us be.

When I see you around and on the phone,
I feel like have have been left behind and feel so alone,
I guess I have to blame myself,
For being so intense like in a romantic book from my shelf.

Seems like it was all in vain,
I feel it every second ticking on the clock,
Oh my god, I feel so much pain,
This would be so easy if my heart was made of rock.

Imagining you with another man,
Feels like driving a knife throught my abdomen,
If I every have to see that day,
I sware I'll turn gay.

I know I have to get over it,
Writing this poem I thought was a good way start,
But you don't feel a thing for me, I bet,
God, how I wish I had a rocky heart.